


as many times as i blink i'll think of you

by cabaretgay



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I am so tired, M/M, group project au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-10 11:24:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14736063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabaretgay/pseuds/cabaretgay
Summary: In which the only two gay kids in the class get randomly paired up and assigned a project on LGBTQ+ equality.





	1. bram: the before

**Author's Note:**

> this trend of writing long-ish oneshots better continue omfg
> 
> title from vanilla twilight by owl city (i swear my music taste isn't just owl city but they have good titles fight me)

Bram Greenfeld, like most living humans, hated a variety of things. They included, but were not limited to: bad grammar, Martin Addison, homophobia, and most of all, group projects.

  
Seriously. Bram hated group projects that much. They were bad in almost all scenarios-- if you got a bad topic, if you got a bad group, if your teacher was a bad grader (one of the three usually happened, if not two). And that wasn't even the half of it. 

As Bram sat in Mrs. Acres' third period AP US History class, listening to the teacher outline their newest assignment (a group project-- of course), these were the thoughts that ran through his mind. He scrawled down some notes on the possible topics (everything vaguely related to civil rights, as assigned randomly from a list), the due date (a week from then), and the possible mediums for their project (poster, PowerPoint, skit, song, or another creative idea cleared by Mrs. Acres). 

The teacher, still giving her spiel about how this project was important and would affect their grade if not done well, did not hear that Bram's phone buzzed. That was the one nice thing about Mrs. Acres. She was going both blind and deaf, and was consequently one of the easier teachers to text in front of. So Bram pulled out his phone. 

1 MESSAGE FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com

Thank God that Bram sat in the back of the class. Quietly, he slipped his laptop from his bag. Usually, teachers didn't mind when kids took digital notes, and Mrs. Acres was (surprisingly) no exception, as long as you could actually show her notes if she asked about them. So Bram copied his scrawled, handwritten notes into a Word doc, and dragged the window off to the side for easy access.

He opened his Gmail account, and sure enough, there was a message from Jacques in his inbox. 

FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
TIME: 12:31 PM  
SUBJECT: I hate...

...a variety of things. You know this about me. I hate bad grammar, Martin Addison, homophobia, and most of all, group projects. They are literally the bane of my existence.

I'm typing this in the middle of class right now, and the teacher is assigning another stupid group project, and I'm about to scream. I will scream if she pairs me up with another homophobic kid. (Actually, I probably won't. I don't really want detention.)

At any rate, Blue, just wish me luck on this project. I'll write a longer email when I get home. 

Love,  
Jacques

Bram looked up from his phone as he finished reading the email. Wait. Jacques was sitting in a class in which the teacher had just assigned a group project. He was sitting in a class in which the teacher had just assigned a group project. Bram checked the timestamp against the current time: the email had been sent only 3 minutes before.  
So there were two possibilities: One, a stupid coincidence happened and two teachers just happened to be assigning group projects at the exact same time. Or two, Jacques was sitting in the same room as Bram right then.

Bram felt his heartbeat pick up as he looked around the room and his eyes landed on Simon Spier, who was taking notes, but whose phone laid on the edge of the desk, face-up, like someone had just put it down.

Maybe it was wishful thinking, as Bram had liked Simon since freshman year, or maybe it meant something.  
There was one way to find out. Bram felt a little guilty for maybe-kind of figuring out Jacques’ identity before he was told, however, this was pretty much a once-in-a-lifetime thing. And, he promised himself, if he was right and Simon was Jacques, he’d agree to meet him the next time Jacques asked. 

Bram clicked the "reply" button and began typing a quick email. 

FROM: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
TO: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
TIME: 12:35 PM  
SUBJECT: Re: I hate...

What? Jacques, hating things? I never would have guessed! ;)

I, too, despise group projects. They are almost always awful. I feel like there’s a list or something of things that can possibly go wrong within a group project, including but not limited to: jerk teacher, jerk kid, bad topic. You’re almost always guaranteed at least one of the three.

Get back to work, though, nerd. I know you’re in school. Pesky timestamps. ;)

Love,  
Blue

Bram looked over at Simon’s phone as he pressed Send. He promised himself that at thirty seconds, he would give up (however, he also knew that would never happen and he’d probably end up spending all of history class staring at either Spier or the phone). That wasn’t an issue, though, because at thirteen seconds, Simon’s phone lit up, and Bram could just barely make out the Gmail symbol in his notification dock.

Bram felt his heartbeat quicken. Simon was Jacques. Simon was gay. That in itself was a surprise—he and Leah had always been super close, so close that most kids thought they were dating. Bram did too, at first.

“Bram Greenfeld!” Mrs. Acres’ voice startled Bram from his stupor, making him jump a little. His arm bumped the water bottle sitting on his desk, and the bottle fell to the floor. Kids snickered as Bram bent down, red-faced, to pick it up. 

“Yes, ma’am?” Bram replied as he sat up.

“You’ll be working with Simon Spier, and the two of you will cover the gay rights movement from Stonewall to today.”

Bram’s jaw fell as Simon turned to smile at him. He snapped it shut quickly and returned a shaky smile to his crush, hoping Simon didn’t see his mouth gaping open. What a wicked twist of fate—the two gay kids in the class giving a project about a very vital part of their identity to a bunch of kids from Georgia.

The teacher went on assigning groups as Bram’s head swirled with thoughts. When she released them to work, Simon casually walked up to Bram’s desk, holding a poster board and a fistful of markers, a whole rainbow.

“I was thinking we could work in the hall?” It was more of a question than a statement, so Bram nodded. The two made their way outside to the hall, setting up shop at a table. Simon smoothed the poster board down, then looked at Bram with a funny expression on his face.

  
“I hope you’re not being this quiet because you’re a homophobe,” Simon said. “Cause, you know, that’s not cool.” He looked like he was going to say something else, but didn’t.

Bram shook his head. “No! I’m cool with this. I’m cool with gay people.”

Simon looked relieved. “Good. Then we’re cool. Pass me the red?”

“Woah, you’re not even going to pencil it first?”

“Nah, I know a lot about this stuff.”

  
“Well, I mean, to like, make the letters straight and the right size?” Bram still clutched onto the markers.

  
Simon looked at Bram funny, but picked up a pencil and began to write on the board. “Why don’t you grab a ruler?” asked Simon. “I’ve got this part.”

  
As he pulled a ruler from his binder, Bram took the leap. Maybe he was still on an adrenaline high from discovering Jacques’ identity, or maybe he was just getting braver. Probably the former. “You sure know a lot about gay stuff.”

Simon nearly dropped the pencil, but looked up at Bram. Then he sighed, placed the pencil on the table, and patted the chair next to him. Bram sat.

“Yeah. I do.” Simon was silent for a moment, and Bram expected him to lie about having a gay sibling or something. He didn’t expect what actually happened. “I’m gay, Bram.”

  
Bram looked at Simon, who seemed to be visibly flustered. His hands were shaking slightly, and he wouldn’t look at Bram.

“Simon, look at me,” said Bram. “Hey, man, I know that was hard. I promise you I don’t think anything different of you.” (That one was a lie. He definitely saw Simon as a real romantic interest for the first time in years.)

Simon picked up the pencil and started fidgeting with it. “You can’t tell anyone, okay? Only Leah, Nick, and Abby know. And my parents, but they don’t count.”

“I promise, if you promise to keep a secret for me too,” said Bram. Was he really going to do this? Was he going to come out to his crush? It was a little bit easier, knowing that Jacques and Simon were one and the same, but those two words… they were the hardest two words he’d ever said when he came out to his mom, and when he came out to Garrett, and apparently nothing had changed. Two words, Bram.

Simon looked at Bram skeptically, but said nothing. 

“Simon, I’m gay too.”

The expression on Simon’s face morphed from doubt, to confusion, to a slight glimmer of excitement, to a huge smile. “Wait, really?” 

Bram nodded. His mind whirred, trying to come up with ways to hint towards being Blue. He wanted Simon to know. He wanted to kiss Simon and he wanted to cuddle with him and he wanted to call him his boyfriend and he wanted to tell him, but his normally creative mind failed him. No ideas came to mind. He’d have to wait to email Simon and reveal something then.

“Wow, I never would have guessed,” Simon said. “You always seemed so… straight.”

Bram grinned. “Well, I’m not. I am very, very gay.”

Mrs. Acres was calling the kids in the hall back to the classroom, so the boys, poster still mostly blank, picked up their things and returned inside, sharing a smile and a bro hug. 

“Hey, Spier, thanks for being so brave.” Bram said, almost as an afterthought, as they walked. 

Simon turned his head slightly to face Bram. “You too, Greenfeld.”

And that was the end of that.

* * *

  
Later that night, after he got home, Bram’s phone dinged. He picked it up from his pillow where it had been sitting and read the notification.

  
1 MESSAGE FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com

FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
TIME: 5:45 PM  
SUBJECT: Coming Out Thing Part Two

So I came out again today. It was to this one kid that sits at my lunch table. He’s quiet, but really nice, and guess what? We got assigned to do our project together. On Stonewall and the LGBTQ+ equality movement.  
And he came out to me too????? Eighty million question marks. To protect his privacy, I won’t tell you exactly what happened. But it was so surreal, to have this kid I’ve spoken to only like five times in my life know my deepest secret. And it’s surreal to know his. Coming out is weird.

What’s up with you, Blue?

  
Love,  
Jacques.

Bram smiled, shaking his head, and then the realization that he was going to have to tell Simon that he was Blue sunk in. For a while, he thought about what he was going to do. 

He could bring Oreos to school? Except he wanted Simon to know now. He could text Simon? Except Simon didn’t know that Bram knew he was Jacques. He decided to just answer Simon’s question honestly. 

FROM: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
TO: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
TIME: 6:19 PM  
SUBJECT: Re: Coming Out Thing Part Two

I am currently freaking out because I came out to a very cute boy today. He sits at my lunch table, and he and I have spoken probably five times in my life. We have this project to do together in APUSH, and it’s on Stonewall and LGBTQ+ equality. You’re right, coming out is extremely surreal, especially when it is to a cute boy who you’ve liked for years. 

It feels really good, though, wouldn’t you say?

Love,  
Blue.

Before pressing Send, Bram ran over the email probably fifty times for grammar and spelling. He made sure his ringer was on, in case Simon decided to call or text. 

And then he pressed Send, sat back, pulled out his last package of Halloween Oreos, and waited. It took less than five minutes for a text from Simon to come through.

  
SIMON SPIER:  
??????????????? 

He’d attached a photo of his laptop, open to the email Bram had just sent.

BRAM GREENFELD:  
surprise?

SIMON SPIER:  
wait really? is it you????

BRAM GREENFELD:  
yeah it’s me

Almost immediately, a call came through. 

Simon spoke before Bram could even say hello. “I can almost hear that smirk on your face and you haven’t even said anything. Wipe it off, mister. So, you’re Blue. Oh my god, you’re Blue.”

“That’s my name.”

Bram could practically hear Simon’s smile through the phone. “I’m actually so giddy. Like, so giddy. Today has been so weird.”

“So weird,” Bram agreed. “But good, hopefully.”

“Better than good. Hey, this might sound forward, but I really want to kiss you. Want to come work on our history project?”

“Absolutely,” Bram said. “I’ll be over in ten. Text me your address. See you soon. And Simon? Wipe that smirk off your face.” 

They exchanged goodbyes, and as Bram scrambled to find a shirt to wear, Simon texted him his address. Bram destroyed his clean bedroom looking for a shirt, but eventually, he settled on a nice-ish, clean band tee shirt. Luckily Simon didn’t live far away, because it took seven minutes just to figure that out.

Bram scrawled a quick note to his mother on the fridge and hopped in the car with the poster. He knew they weren’t going to be doing homework, but he figured he’d bring it in case one of the Spier parents opened the door. It was a good thing he did, too, because Emily Spier answered the door soon after Bram knocked. 

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“Uh, hi, Mrs. Spier. I’m Simon’s friend Bram, we have a history project together?”

“Oh, okay,” said Emily, stepping aside to let Bram in. “He’s upstairs, first door on the left. Right across from the bathroom if you need one. Have fun!”

That was surprisingly easy, thought Bram as he walked upstairs. He knocked on the first door on the left, and Simon answered, dressed in a nice blue polo shirt and smiling nervously.

“Hey,” he said. “I’m past the obligatory freak-out stage now.”

Bram laughed. “Glad to hear it.”

Simon’s room was the right amount of messy, and it smelled so much like Simon. It had a dog bed in the corner, chalkboard walls surrounding an alcove bed, and a full-on computer station with photos everywhere. They sat down on the bed, bantering back and forth for a while as they did. The conversation shifted moods quickly from bro banter to romantic banter, and eventually, Bram could tell that Simon really wanted to kiss him.

  
A lull came into the conversation, and Simon broke the silence. “I really want to kiss you right now, Bram.”

Bram smiled, heart in his throat. “So kiss me.”

And he did, and God, it was nothing like what Bram expected his first kiss to be. He suspected that Simon had kissed a girl or two before, but this was Bram’s actual first kiss, so he didn’t really know what to do at first. The two bumped noses a little, and Bram couldn’t figure out what to do with his hands. But it didn’t take long for them to figure it out, and all the months of passionate arguments over Oxford commas and stories about childhood and flirting over email paled in comparison to the kiss. 

“Wow,” Simon whispered when they broke. “You are really real, and you are really here.”

They laid in silence on the bed for a while, until Simon asked, “Bram, what are we?”

Bram turned his head to look at Simon. “I’m all in if you are.”

“All in, like boyfriends?” asked Simon.

“That sounds good to me,” Bram replied. 

“Boyfriends it is.” Simon grinned. 

Bram grinned back. “You bet,” he said, leaning back in. 

They kissed, slow and sweet and passionate, for a while, and it was like nothing Bram had ever experienced. It was better than an A plus on a test you didn’t study for, and it was better than winning a soccer game. Bram would never tire of kissing Simon. If this was what kissing was like, Bram wasn’t sure if Reese’s were actually better than sex.  
They were still kissing when Simon’s mother walked in. She was carrying cookies and milk, but did a double take and almost dropped them as she noticed her son and the boy who had just waltzed inside less than fifteen minutes earlier tangled up on the bed together.

“Simon!” she exclaimed, and the boys broke apart, red-faced. Simon adjusted his shirt and lowered his head, and Bram ran a hand through his messy hair awkwardly. “Three minutes, living room. We need to talk. Bram, you too.”  
Still blushing, the boys smoothed their shirts and their hair and walked downstairs, where Nora, Simon’s sister, was cooking.

“So.” Emily said, when everyone was settled on the couches. “Simon, explain.”

Simon took a deep breath, and started from the beginning. He told his mother about the creeksecrets Tumblr, the Jacques and Blue emails, the months they’d spent emailing almost daily, and ended with that day.

“I came out to him today,” said Simon, “and then he came out to me. Turns out this one here is Blue. And I promise, we were going to work on our homework, too. We just… got distracted.” 

“How long have you been together?”

“About ten minutes.” Bram answered. 

Emily smiled in that kind but firm mom way. “Well. Simon, I’m going to need to start enforcing your open-door policy a little more strictly, huh? And we do need to have a sex talk at some point, too—”

Simon groaned. “Mom, I’ve had a boyfriend for all of ten minutes and you’re already on about sex. I promise, that’s not coming for a long while.”

“Still, I’d like to inform you. Bram, why don’t you head home? You should probably take Simon, too. Tell your mother. Are you out to her?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Bram. 

“Good. All right, Simon, why don’t you and Bram go talk to his mom? Be back in an hour or less. I’ll find Jack for when you return.”

Simon blushed and grabbed Bram’s hand, pulling him up. They walked out to Bram’s car and got in, and Bram drove home. Bram’s mom was home, thankfully. It would be a bit awkward if there was no mom to tell.

“Ma?” Bram called as he opened the door. “I need you to meet someone.”

They walked inside and took a seat on the pristine brown couch, holding hands. It took only a few minutes for Bram’s mother, Jasmine, to emerge from the bedroom.

“Hey, you!” said Jasmine, ruffling Bram’s hair. “What’s up?”

“Ma, this is Simon, my boyfriend,” Bram said. Jasmine’s eyes raised, but she said nothing. “He’s sweet, and kind, and caring, and a good kid.”

Jasmine smirked. “Well, Simon, I hope you’ve heard of my rule?” she said. “Every Time Including Oral, right, Abraham?”

Bram swatted his mom’s arm playfully. “Yeah, uh-huh. He’s heard.”

“I’m happy to meet you, Simon,” she said, extending a hand to shake his. Simon shook her hand and smiled.

“Likewise.”

“Well, Abraham. You and I need to have a talk, and I’m sure Simon’s got one coming too. Kiss goodbye. I’ll be back in five.” She left the room, leaving them alone. 

Simon and Bram walked to the door of the house, and though Bram offered to walk Simon home, Simon insisted that it wasn’t too far. So they kissed goodbye, and Simon stepped out of the house to go home.

  
What a whirlwind of a day, thought Bram. He couldn’t wait to see Simon again.


	2. simon: the after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the only two gay kids in the class give their presentation on LGBTQ+ equality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasn't originally going to write a second chapter for this, but then WhatILikeAboutMuke requested it and i realized that i actually had an idea for it! so here you go!
> 
> also @shay (you know who you are): i hope you're excited bc i used ur phrase so thanks for that idea you're iconic

Simon Spier, like most living humans, hated a variety of things. They included, but were not limited to: group projects, talking about gay sex with his mother, and leaving Bram at the end of the day. All perfectly normal things to hate.

Especially now that he and Bram were boyfriends. That was such a weird thing for Simon to think about. He had kissed Abraham Greenfeld. He was currently laying on Abraham Greenfeld's bed and holding hands with Abraham Greenfeld. He was Abraham Greenfeld's boyfriend.

That was almost as surreal as coming out.

Bram and Simon laid together on Bram's bed, listening to Troye Sivan and procrastinating on their Stonewall project by basking in each other's company. Neither of them had spoken for more than an hour—they had just enjoyed their music and each other—but as the ending notes of My My My! played, Simon turned his head to look at Bram.

"Babe, I know you don't want to, but we have to work on our project."

Bram groaned and rolled over to face Simon. "Oh, fine. Grab the laptop."

Simon raised his eyebrows. "You do realize that you're giving me full access to your laptop? Including your search history?" Simon wasn't complaining. It wasn't like he wanted to stalk Bram, but he was curious. If his own search history was anything to go by, Bram's would be very interesting.

"And?" Bram said. "I promise the most interesting thing you'll see is ten times lamer than anything you've ever searched."

Simon shrugged and picked up Bram's laptop. Bram keyed in the password, then googled "stonewall riots" and handed the laptop back to Simon. Then, he stood up, picked up the poster the two had started at school along with a rainbow of markers, and placed them on the bed.

Meanwhile, Simon was reading the Wikipedia article on the riots. "Man, I feel like a fake gay."

"What do you mean?" Bram asked, brow furrowing.

"I know virtually nothing about Stonewall."

Bram laughed. "Oh, same. No worries." He went back to outlining the words on the poster in Sharpie.

Simon's head swirled with facts about the early LGBTQ+ rights movement. There were so many names, so many dates and photos, so much violence. The violence was what really got him. Simon had never considered himself a pacifist, but he also wasn't the kind of guy to want to do a presentation about riots, even if he was eternally grateful that those riots had happened. (And that he was not a part of them.)

"Babe?" Simon asked.

"What's up?" replied Bram.

Simon shook his head. "I really don't want to present on Stonewall. Like, I really appreciate all those guys and girls and people who aren't guys or girls who fought for our rights to be ourselves, but also, violence is not my thing. And I want our presentation to be more positive."

Bram tapped his pencil against the poster. "Well, what do you want to present on?"

"I was thinking we could maybe do, like, a crash course on the queer community and how to be a good ally?"

Bram smiled. "You know, that actually sounds really cool."

"We could talk about all the different identities and stuff, and umbrella terms, and how to respond if someone comes out to you, and—oh, God, Bram, we're gonna have to come out."

Bram scooted over and grabbed Simon's hand. "Okay, babe, this sounds really good. I agree, though—we're going to have to come out to the class, and probably go as far as telling them we're together. Who are you out to?"

"Leah, Nick, Abby, my family, and you and your mom. You?"

"You, Garrett, and our families. I guess we have a few options. One, we could just do our project on Stonewall and stay in the closet. Or two, we could come out and do the other project," Bram reasoned. "Are you ready to be out?"  

Simon was quiet. Was he ready? He knew that the majority of kids at school were pretty nice. He didn't know their stance on gay people, but he also figured that it couldn't be completely positive, seeing as this was suburban Georgia. He knew that his friends were cool with it, though, and he knew they'd be there for him if there were ever bullies. And Bram. Bram was there for him, too.  

"Like you said when we got together, I'm all in if you are," Simon said. 

Bram nodded. "Me too. So do you want to tell anyone beforehand?"  

"Just Leah, Nick, and Abby, unless there's someone you want to tell, and then them too." Bram didn't say anything, so Simon grabbed his boyfriend's hand comfortingly.   

Bram finally spoke. "I guess we should tell Garrett."  

"We don't have to tell him if you don't want."  

"No, I want to. It's just... scary. I've known Garrett for, what, six years? And he knows I'm gay. He's cool with it. It's just… introducing someone in a new way, it's super scary. At least we get to do it on our own time today, you know?"  

Simon nodded. "Of course. Well, when do you want to tell him?"  

Bram let go of Simon's hand and grabbed his phone. "Today's as good as any day." He unlocked the phone and texted Garrett quickly, and the phone dinged not long after. "He'll be over in five."  

"Cool." Again, the boys laid hand in hand on the bed, listening to music (now it was Kiss the Boy by Keiynan Lonsdale-- a gay bop, Simon thought). They only broke contact when Garrett knocked at the door of Bram's room and slipped inside.   

"What's up!" Garrett exclaimed as he walked in. He looked a little surprised to see Simon on Bram's bed, but didn't question anything past a quick glance in Bram's direction. Simon smiled at Garrett as Bram hugged the soccer player.

"Y'all are acting weird as fuuuck," said Garrett as he pulled away from the hug. "What's wrong, Greenfeld?"

"Nothing's wrong. In fact, everything's right," said Bram and beamed at Simon. "We're dating." He moved closer to Simon and Simon placed his hand in Bram's.   

"Oh! Wow! Congratulations!" Garrett said, eyebrows rising. "This is awesome. Not what I expected at all when Greenfeld texted me, but, like, I can totally see you two together. How long have you guys been a thing?"  

Simon looked at Bram. "It's been a few days, hm?"  

Bram nodded.   

"Well, that's awesome." Garrett said. "Congrats again."  

"Thanks, bro," said Bram. "The reason we're telling you this is a little complicated. Strap in. We're going to come out-- and not just to, like, our families or something. That already happened. We're going to come out tomorrow in APUSH during that group project. So, like, will you be there if there's any dickwads or people who take it the wrong way?"  

Garrett smiled. "Absolutely, dude." There was silence for a few seconds. Then, "So, if you don't mind me asking, who all knows about you two? Who do I not need to worry about, I guess?"  

Simon counted in his head. "Well, my parents and Bram's mom know we're together, and Abby, Leah and Nick will know before the end of today. They already know I'm gay, though, so they'll probably be really cool about it."  

"All right, awesome. Well, I'm here for you guys, you remember that. Well. I'll head out. It looks like you were in the middle of some homework, and I'll let you come out to Abby, Leah and Nick."  

Bram stood up and hugged Garrett, and Simon shook Garrett's hand.  

"Thank you again," Simon said, smiling.  

"Of course. Just keep in mind that if you hurt Greenfeld, I'm gonna be right there to beat you up in return."  

Simon laughed. "I'll remember that."

With a smile and a wave, Garrett left the room, and Simon pulled out his phone. "Well, you ready for my friends?"

"Absolutely," said Bram. "How's this gonna work?"

"I was thinking group text, but if it evolves into a Skype, don't be surprised. That's Leah's thing—she hates calling. Only ever Skypes me."

Bram nodded and Simon started a group chat.

SIMON (SEES AND HEARS ALL) has added BRAM GREENFELD, ABBY (DESERVES A GODDAMN SUPERHERO), LEAH (IS A RAGING FEMINIST) and NICK (KICKS BALLS—BUT ONLY THE SOCCER KIND) to the chat.

SIMON: hey guys can we talk?

"What's with the parentheses?" asked Bram as he watched Simon add his friends. He pulled out his phone so he could be a part of the chat as well.

Simon shook his head. "Long story, including inside jokes about Abby at Waffle House, Leah going to the Women's March every year since she turned six, Nick being a soccer dude, and my last name."

LEAH: of course what's up  
LEAH: wait who died  
ABBY: Someone died?!  
NICK: WHAT  
BRAM: nobody died lmao  
BRAM: it's just...  
SIMON: bram and i? we be gay  
SIMON: and we be gay… together  
LEAH: wait wtf  
ABBY: Are you guys dating?!  
NICK: OMFG  
LEAH: I KNEW IT

Skype Request from: LEAH (IS A RAGING FEMINIST)

"I told you," said Simon, grinning at Bram as he accepted the Skype on his own phone.

"Oh my god, are you guys actually a thing?" Abby exclaimed as soon as Simon picked up. Leah was already on, and her eyes were wide as saucers on Simon's screen. Nick picked up shortly after.

"Okay, okay, calm down," Simon said. "Yes. Bram and I are boyfriends."

Leah squealed, Nick grinned and Abby clapped her hands together as Simon and Bram smiled at each other.

"And tomorrow, we're going to come out to the school," said Bram. Their friends' eyes widened.

Abby was the first to say something. "I'm so damn proud of you two!"

Simon smiled. "Thanks. I guess what we really want to ask is if you'll be our kind-of sort-of bodyguards for a while until stuff dies down. You know, glare at homophobes in the halls. Stand up for us."

Nick smiled. "Of course we will, man!"

"We're here for you," Leah agreed. Abby nodded, still smiling.

Simon's fears about coming out lessened as the gang laughed and talked. Simon and Bram told their friends about how they got together, about Jacques and Blue and the way Bram figured out that Simon was Jacques. They stayed on the phone together for as long as they could, but eventually, Bram looked at the time and nudged Simon. They had to actually work on their presentation.

So they all hung up and the two boys actually did work on their presentation. It took hours, but when they finished, they had a poster with all kinds of color, and as many Pride flags adorning it as they could find on Google. They had a "Guide to Being a Good Ally (As Approved by Bram and Simon)", a bunch of definitions of all the different identities they could remember (and then some), and an abridged history of the LGBTQ+ struggles through history.

They planned to volunteer to go second (not first, because that was too scary, and not third or fourth or fifth, because that was too much suspense). They hugged and kissed goodnight, and Simon left for home, his mind whirring with thoughts about the next day.

* * *

The next day came quickly and Simon picked up Bram along with Leah, Nick and Abby on his way to school. They drove to the coffeeshop, earned a weird look from the lady at the drive-thru window when they requested an extra coffee for Bram along with their regulars, and then paid and drove to school. 

Bram had Spanish first period while Simon had Chem, so they were separated until second period English with Mr. Wise. There was nothing overly special about the morning, although the two did sneak off to the drama dressing rooms during lunch, earning knowing looks from their friends and a glare from that homophobic asshole Martin. The kissing made up for that, though.

 

The bell signaling the end of lunch rang and the boys broke apart, but Simon snuck a peck onto his boyfriend's cheek as they left the dressing rooms. Simon and Bram walked side by side to the history classroom, as close as they could possibly be without looking suspicious. Simon hated that. He hated that they couldn't hold hands in the halls the way Taylor Metternich held hands with Ronan Gray, and he hated that they couldn't be awkwardly teased by their friends about PDA at the lunch table-- because there was no PDA to tease them about. He hated the fact that as soon as their presentation was over, in less than an hour, their relationship would be blasted all over their classmates' Snapchats and Instagram stories, and even the fucking Tumblr. And, Simon supposed, he hated that all this _never_  happened to straight people.

 

So they walked down the hall and into the history classroom, where the teacher sat at her desk, obviously close to nodding off, and the kids who had volunteered to go first were setting up. It was a PowerPoint about the Kent State massacres, and by the time it was over, the teacher wasn't the only one about to fall asleep. 

 

Mrs. Acres asked for volunteers, and Simon and Bram raised their hands at the same time. The teacher motioned for them to go up to the front of the class. Before Simon made his way to the front, though, he made a detour at Bram's desk. Bram had the poster in one hand, but as Simon walked by, Bram stepped into the aisle and grabbed Simon's hand with his free one. 

 

Simon shot Bram a glance. This wasn't planned, but he was okay with it if Bram was. Bram nodded, and Simon rubbed Bram's hand with his thumb.

 

They let go of each other's hands only momentarily to set the poster on the easel and pick up the laser pointers, then regrasped hands. Bram took a deep breath like they'd rehearsed and launched into their speech.

 

"It's January, and Pride Month isn't for another six months, but in light of all of the violence and school shootings lately, we decided to focus less on the Stonewall Riots in this presentation, and more on LGBTQ+ pride. Of course, the riots were a vital part of the LGBTQ+ movement, and they shouldn't be forgotten. However, we really didn't to focus on more violence-- there's enough of that happening today."

 

Mrs. Acres frowned and pushed her glasses up on her nose. She looked displeased, but the boys soldiered on.

 

Simon smiled. "LGBTQ is an acronym standing for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer or questioning. The plus sign encompasses other identities that are under the umbrella of LGBTQ+, but aren't usually included in the acronym because then it'd be super long." He laughed nervously. "These other identities include, but aren't limited to, the asexual and aromantic spectrums, or a-specs, pansexual, polysexual, nonbinary, and genderfluid."

 

Their speech went on for a solid fifteen minutes, and it was funny to watch all the kids in the class get more and more confused as to why in the world Bram and Simon were holding hands. Only Leah, Abby, and Garrett sat, smirking, in their seats. (Simon caught a glimpse of Abby texting under her desk, and he assumed she was informing Nick of the events.)

 

They went over everything smoothly and their presentation technically stayed within the bounds of their prompt, so their teacher didn't interject, as much as Simon could tell she wanted to. At the end of their presentation, beaming, Simon asked the class, "Does anybody have any questions?"

 

As most of the kids' hands shot into the air, clearly to ask why in the world the boys had been holding hands for fifteen minutes, Simon squeezed Bram's hand to give him his cue. 

 

"Wait!" Bram exclaimed, like they'd planned. "I forgot something."

 

The kids lowered their hands slowly, and Bram fixed them with a stare before he turned to Simon and gently pressed their lips together. Simon's stomach erupted in butterflies, and he heard the teacher stand up more quickly than he thought possible for a seventy-year-old woman with achy joints as the class gasped. Bram pulled away after a second, but clasped Simon's hand harder than ever. 

 

The boys shared a glance, and then Simon panned the class with a gaze. "We're here, and we're queer, and we're not going anywhere. Thank you for listening to our presentation." 

 

Hearts beating fast, the boys picked up their poster and went back to their desks, heads held high amidst the whispers and snickers. Simon passed Bram's desk and pecked him on the cheek, and he was vaguely aware of Leah, Garrett, and Abby clapping as he sat down, head still in a haze. He couldn't focus for the rest of the class, and he was acutely aware of the gazes boring into his head. His phone buzzed eight times in the class-- mentions in Instagram stories and texts from both friends and those he didn't really know, he was sure. He didn't check his phone, though. Instead, he watched Bram. 

 

As the adrenaline wore off, Simon's head buzzed and he started to bounce his leg. It was unbearable to sit in the classroom, so close to Bram and yet so far away. As soon as the bell rang, Simon stood and rushed to Bram's side. 

 

Together, they walked to Bram's fourth period class-- geometry-- and Simon heard pictures snap and people laugh around them. But he didn't care. This was them, real and raw, and if the world didn't like their real, raw selves, they could kindly fuck off. 

 

Because, Simon knew, coming out took a ton of courage. And if people couldn't at least respect them for having the courage to come out, then they weren't the kind of people that Simon wanted in his life.

 

He kissed his boyfriend at the door, and this time, the butterflies weren't nerves. They were exhilaration.

 

He could get used to this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy pride month y'all! remember that you are valid, loved, and important, whether you're gay, bi, pan, ace, trans, otherwise queer, closeted, out, transitioning, or anything in between. i believe in you!


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